


Hold your Breath and count to Ten

by JuliaBaggins



Series: Something Real [6]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-05-11 20:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5641030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliaBaggins/pseuds/JuliaBaggins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A paparazzi photo in a newspaper shows Merlin and Arthur, the famous football player, kissing. A lot of trouble is going to follow…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is part of a series and I guess it's better for the understanding if you've read the prior parts ;)

“Love you, bye.”

Merlin could hear the smile in Arthur’ voice and it was mirrored on his face when he told Arthur his Goodbye and finally ended their phone call.

“Love you too Arthur; have a good day!” 

Arthur and his team had flown to a Champions League match in Italy two days ago and he loved it how Arthur had called him five times since he had left. Their last call had been for the sole purpose of wishing him a good morning and a nice day and Merlin smiled all the way to his University at this thought. And when he remembered how since they had said it first at New Year’s Eve, the two of them couldn’t have a conversation of more than three minutes without telling each other how they loved the other one, his smile grew even wider.

 

When Merlin got out of his Tube station he was greeted by the advertisement of a big shop for sportswear, featuring Arthur’s smiling face. He knew that picture, it was one of those Arthur had posed for in San Francisco, and he loved it as well as the rest of the series. Of course he liked it how _gorgeous_ his boyfriend looked in every single one of them, but furthermore, he loved them because without the offer for those photos and Arthur accepting it, they may have never met each other. 

To Merlin, Arthur would have been nothing more than a hot goalkeeper he sometimes saw on TV and Arthur would have probably never heard of Merlin. So of course Merlin loved the San Francisco photos and was very thankful for them.

 

“Merlin!”

Merlin stopped his walk through the university’s floors and turned around to see Gwaine, who he sat next to in most of his courses, running towards him. He smiled, at least he did so until he saw the serious expression on Gwaine’s face.

“Gwaine, what’s wrong?”

“Merlin. I think you should look at that.”

Gwaine handed Merlin a folded newspaper. He recognized the name, it was an Italian sports magazine. Merlin was really confused now.

“You know that I don’t speak Italian, right?”

Gwaine avoided looking in Merlin’s eyes as he said: “You won’t need to. Just look at the front page.”

Merlin did as he was advised, he unfolded the newspaper so the whole front page was in front of him. And his heart skipped a beat. 

On the page Merlin could see his own face. But that wasn’t the problem, not really. The problem was that his face was _kissing_ Arthur’s face. Merlin remembered when that had been – he had just come back from the States, Arthur picked him up from the airport and they had been overwhelmed by their happiness to see each other again. None of them had noticed that they had been photographed. And now the picture was published. At the front of an important sports magazine. 

 

Merlin looked up at Gwaine and he was glad when the other man started to speak again.

“Merlin, listen. Under normal circumstances I would probably be angry with you for not telling me that you’re _kissing Arthur fucking Pendragon_ in your free time, but I guess that can wait now.”

Merlin couldn’t answer, he only felt how his own heart was beating faster and faster.

“Merlin, what would you think about skipping the first lecture, talking while getting some coffee?”

A small nod was all of an answer Gwaine got.

 

They walked to the coffee shop in silence, ordered two cappuccinos and were glad to be the only customers there. As soon as the waitress had left their table, Gwaine started talking.

“Merlin, okay, wow. I never thought you to be that much of a football fan.”

He smiled and Merlin couldn’t help a small laugh before he shook his head.

“I’m not, especially not as much as you. But I can’t deny being a fan of a _certain_ football player…”

They were silent for a moment.

“Merlin, listen, I’m really happy that you’re happy, and our _national goalkeeper_ , wow, that’s quite a catch, but you know that _this_ is bad, right?”

Gwaine pointed to the newspaper Merlin was holding in a tight grip.

Merlin nodded again while he felt the tears tickling in his eyes. He had never questioned Arthur’s decision to not make their relationship official as he knew how hard an outing in professional football could be. Of course he had dreamed that maybe, one day… But never that way. Not through some stupid paparazzi photos and without the ability for Arthur to prepare for what was going to follow.

 

“Why _now_?”, Merlin whispered.

“Sorry, I fear I don’t understand what you mean.” Gwaine looked at him, a worried expression on his face.

“Why do they publish that picture _now?_ I mean, that was a week before Christmas, so why would they wait, why…”

“It’s because of the match I fear. The Italians know they wouldn’t have a chance normally, so…”

“You’re serious?”

“I am.”

“Shit, Shit, Shit.” 

Merlin buried his face in his hands. That wasn’t fair, the Champions League match today was important, and now Arthur was not able to focus on it but forced to make a statement about their relationship, so he… Damn. _Arthur._ Did he already know about that?

He got out his phone, called Arthur’s number. The call got unanswered. A look at the clock told Merlin that Arthur was probably busy with training for today’s match. He banished every thought of another reason why Arthur could not answer the call from his head.

 

Merlin and Gwaine didn’t get back to their university for the rest of the day, they just stayed in the coffee shop and talked. Though the topic was not really nice (and Merlin got more and more worried with every further call Arthur didn’t answer), Merlin couldn’t help thinking that he had undervalued Gwaine. To him, he had always been just a buddy from university, someone you could spend the lunch break together with. But now, it seemed that Gwaine proved himself to be a real friend to Merlin, one who understood him, someone he could count on. At least one good thing coming out of that mess.

After a final hug from Gwaine, Merlin started his way home. _Was that just his imagination, or were there really people looking at him, like they knew?_

The key to Arthur’s flat shook in his hands when he opened it and as soon as he was inside, Merlin’s knees gave in and he slid down the wall till he sat at the floor. The tears were streaming down his face while he tried to call Arthur again, and again the call got unanswered. Now he couldn’t ignore the thoughts anymore, the vicious voices in the back of his head that told him that Arthur would be angry at him, that he’d maybe even end their relationship…

 

When the match started, Merlin still hadn’t been able to reach Arthur. He watched it on his TV screen, how Arthur walked into the stadium, he heard how one of the commentators mentioned the pictures. Merlin didn’t care about his words.

All he could pay attention to was the expression on Arthur’s face, how it seemed to be carved out of stone while there was a defensive look in his beautiful eyes. Merlin had done his best to watch all of Arthur’s matches since he had met him so he knew how Arthur usually looked before the referee would start a match. Proudly singing their anthem when playing for the country; smiling when he was walking in in the Premier or Champions League. Sometimes he was laughing, waving at fans, smiling at the child walking at his hand. He certainly never looked like that.

Arthur’s team won the match but it didn’t seem to matter. While his team mates hugged each other, exchanged tricots with the other players, Arthur hurried back to the cabin as soon as the match was ended. Merlin looked at his phone, he had lost count of how often he had done so today, but still, Arthur didn’t call. Morgana had done so earlier, they had talked for a long time, and later, Gwen had texted him as well as Gwaine. The only one who seemed to find it unnecessary to talk to Merlin was Arthur.

 

It was the next morning and Merlin sat on the sofa, tired as he hadn’t been able to sleep much last night and really desperate as he hadn’t heard from Arthur for nearly 24 hours now.

The doorbell rang and before Merlin could answer it, someone knocked (or rather _hammered_ ) at the door. Merlin hurried to wipe some of the tears away from his face while he opened the door with shaking fingers. A middle aged man whose blond hair started to turn gray at the edges looked at him from cold eyes. His suit looked really expensive, there was a small suitcase in his hand and Merlin recognized him after half a second. 

Arthur had just one photo of him displayed, them together with Morgana at Christmas some years ago. But Merlin had always been good with faces, and even if that photo wouldn’t be standing in Arthur’s (lately _their_ ) living room, he’d know that face from the news.

In front of Merlin stood Uther Pendragon, the Kingdom’s Minister of Defense as well as Arthur’s father.

 

They stared at each other for a moment before Uther pressed one word out through gritted teeth.

_“You!”_

Merlin didn’t answer, he just looked at the man in front of him, felt the hate burning in those cold eyes.

“Have you got _any_ idea what you have done?”

Merlin was shaking. He couldn’t stand the look of these eyes anymore, so he tried to find something different to focus on. While his eyes searched the space behind Uther, another unexpected thing happened. 

Arthur was walking up the stairs, appearing right behind his father. He seemed surprised at the sight in front of him before he shortly shook his head and raised his voice.

 

“Dad? What _the hell_ is going on here?”

Uther turned around, a furious expression on his face. He started yelling at Arthur who remained calm and looked at Merlin, talking to him in a calm voice.

“Merlin, would you please go inside?”

“Into _your flat?_ You allow someone _like that_ to…?”

“Yes, I’m allowing my _boyfriend_ to go into my fucking flat!” Now Arthur was shouting too.

“Your _what?_ ” 

Uther seemed to be not far away from hitting Arthur and the young football player shot Merlin a pleading look. Merlin understood, he nodded and got back into the flat. As soon as the door was closed, he started running, he ran towards the bathroom and locked himself inside. Even inside there, he was able to hear the loud voices of Arthur and his father – not the words they were saying, but the tone they said it in.

 

Merlin had no idea how much time had passed when there was a soft knock at the bathroom door.

“Merlin?” Arthur’s voice was rough from the heated argument.

With trembling knees Merlin got up from where he had curled himself next to the bath hub and let Arthur in. The blond man looked at him, his cheeks red from anger, his teeth biting his lower lip.

“Merlin.”

Merlin swallowed. Tears were streaming down Arthur's cheeks and finally, Merlin took the step to close the distance between them. He wrapped his arms around Arthur and Arthur held him so tight like he’d never want to let go.

“Merlin, I’m so sorry, about everything. I know I should have called, and then my damn father, what he said…”

“Shh.” Merlin put away enough to be able to look at Arthur’s face and put a finger to his lips.

“There’s no need to apologize.”

Arthur smiled a watery smile at Merlin before he pulled him close again, whispering into Merlin’s hair.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Hey!” Merlin took a step back, placed one of his hands on each of Arthur’s shoulders and looked him deep in the eyes.

“Arthur Pendragon, I never want to hear something like that again.” 

Arthur tried to protest but Merlin just continued talking.

“Arthur, listen. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I _love_ you and we’ll get through this. _Together._ You understand me?”

“Together.” Arthur nodded before he put an oh so gentle kiss at Merlin’s slightly trembling lips.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, this is Arthur's side of the story ;)

“Love you, bye.”

“Love you too Arthur; have a good day!”

As soon as Merlin had ended their call, Arthur put his phone away and found Lance, whom he shared a hotel room with while being in Italy, smirking at him.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing, Pendragon.” 

Lance had to fight a laugh before he finally turned away, pretending to be busy with sorting some clothes lying on his bed. Arthur shook his head. Of course he was thankful for Lance being as supportive as he was, and he felt like Merlin and him had gotten along really well during their Christmas party, but still, sometimes his looks were just annoying. Like he wouldn’t know that feeling when one was in love and just thinking of that special person made you feel the need to hug the whole world.

 

They arrived at the sports field where their final training would take place and after some warming up, Arthur caught nearly all shots his team mates fired to his goal. He felt like this was going to be a good day, had felt that way ever since he woke up to a bright Italian sun this morning. Arthur got distracted for a moment when he thought of Merlin, how he looked forward to getting back to him tomorrow. A well placed shot by Lance made it past Arthur into the goal’s left corner and Arthur cursed, even more when he saw Lance chuckling. He gritted his teeth and did his best to only concentrate on nothing but the other players for the rest of the training.

Some supporters of their rival in the evening’s match had turned up to watch their training and Arthur didn’t pay any attention to them; it was not like he wasn’t used to fans of other teams yelling how they’d have no chance to win the game. 

After the training was finished, Arthur collected his stuff and wanted to join Lance and Elyan who stood nearby, busy in a heated discussion. Arthur walked in their direction after a moment of thinking, his curiosity getting the better of him.

“… nk we should just tell him!” 

Lance’s voice was heated and he looked forcefully at Elyan.

“And how do you imagine that? It’s not like…” 

Elyan fell silent as soon as he saw Arthur walking towards them. Lance swallowed and Arthur started to wonder if they had been talking about him – the sudden silence was rather suspicious. He shot his two team mates a questioning look.

 

“Tell him!” 

Lance whispered, loud enough for Arthur to hear, and Elyan followed his advice.

“Arthur, look. You know I’ve been playing in Italy for some years before I joined our club and so I speak Italian…”

“And?” 

Elyan fell silent again and finally, Lance said it.

“Arthur, I think there’s no careful way to say that – it sounds like they know. About you. And Merlin.” 

Arthur felt like the ground had been taken away from beneath his feet. No. That couldn’t be possible. 

“How?”

Lance and Elyan exchanged a worried look before they told him what they had understood: that there had been an article in a newspaper, featuring pictures of Arthur kissing Merlin.

Arthur turned around without another word, walked to the team’s bus and ignored everyone else on the journey back to the hotel. Lance shot him a few worried looks and once or twice tried to start a talk, but it was with no success. 

 

When they had made it back to the team’s hotel Arthur stormed out of the bus and to the lobby, up the stairs. Lance was at his heels and got into their shared room before Arthur was able to close the door behind himself. Arthur was standing next to the window, his back pointed to Lance’s direction so his team mate wasn’t able to see his face.

“Arthur?”

“Go.” Arthur’s voice sounded hollow.

“Arthur, please listen to me…”

“Just leave me alone.” There was something final in Arthur’s voice and Lance nodded sadly, leaving their room without another word.

As soon as Lance had closed the door behind him, Arthur’s shaking knees gave in. He was sinking to the floor, digging his fingernails deep into the flesh of his arms. Arthur was not crying, he was _never_ crying, not anymore, no. Instead, some dry sobs escaped his throat.

He got his phone out of his jacket’s pocket and his heart twisted in a painful way when he switched it on.

The background of Arthur’s phone was a picture he had taken in San Francisco – Merlin was sitting in the car’s passenger seat, smiling at the camera, wet hair and cheeks flushed, and Arthur remembered how only seconds later, Merlin had shouted at him that he should focus on the road instead of taking silly pictures of him. It had been a perfect moment, a perfect day. And it seemed to be so long ago.

Above Merlin’s nose there was a text telling Arthur that Merlin had tried to call him four times without success since they had talked this morning. Arthur swallowed, closed his eyes for a moment and scrolled through his contact list until he found him. Hesitated for a moment. Remembered what his team mates had told him about the article, the pictures and cursed himself. How was it possible he had been so _careless?_ He had always been so discrete when it came to his private life, never even had a date in public. And then he met Merlin, and everything changed.

Arthur looked at Merlin’s smiling face on his screen one last time before he threw his phone across the room until it hit the wall next to Lance’s bed. There was a shattering noise as the glass broke and somehow, it helped Arthur’s nerves to calm, his brain to focus again and get away from the circle of anxious thoughts it had been captured in before.

 

Arthur started to wonder what he should make out of this whole damn situation while he got up, forced his weak knees to take him to his bed so he could sit down. Lay down. Hide under the comfortable blanket. He already knew what his father would tell him. Uther would ask him to deny their relationship, to make up some kind of ridiculous story to convince the press as well as the fans that it wasn’t the way it sounded, the way it _looked._ Maybe he would even suggest a few public appearances with some pretty girl and hope that another scandal would have taken over the headlines before Arthur would be forced to marry her. Or maybe Uther would like that, his son married. Arthur wasn’t sure about that point. But he would have bet his life that his father would tell him that it would be the best for everybody if Arthur wouldn’t see Merlin again – the best for Arthur, his career, for Merlin himself and of course also for Uther. Arthur thought about this possibility over and over and he didn’t believe a word of it.

Because as much as the whole situation sucked, as scared as he was and as much as he wished that things had happened another way, he couldn’t imagine how losing the one person he had given his heart to could ever improve his situation. Arthur loved Merlin. As well as Merlin loved Arthur. It was a simple fact, but it gave Arthur hope even now; it was like he could use their love as a shield against whatever was going to come. It would protect him. Like he would protect it from his father and everyone else.

Arthur got up from the bed again, walked a few steps and picked up what was left of his phone. He cut his finger on a shard but he didn’t feel the pain. It was like as soon as he had left the comfort of his bed, the dark thoughts had come back with improved force. Arthur tried to remember the feeling of love and protection he had experienced just moments ago when he thought of Merlin, but now, the smiling face of his boyfriend he tried to picture in front of his inner eye was quickly replaced by his father’s. He heard his father’s voice in his ears, listened to him whispering that Arthur would get excluded from their national team, that he wouldn’t be one of those to represent England in France next summer. It scared him, it scared him _so much._ And he just wished he could be at home and bury himself in Merlin’s arms.

 

Arthur couldn’t have said when Lance came back to tell him that they’d have to leave for the stadium soon, the preparation as well as the match went by while he was in some kind of trance and Arthur was not even sure if his team had won in the end. But he was glad for it, glad he didn’t have to hear the Italian fans shouting and especially glad that he didn’t have to see the other player’s faces where he feared to see nothing but disgust and disappointment. 

The referee ended the match and Arthur headed away from the others without a look back, busy to get to the stadium’s catacombs. So he was the first one in the cabin and had already finished changing his clothes when his team mates joined him, Lance being the first one of them. 

“Arthur. You will listen to me now.”

Arthur flinched but he turned around anyway, facing most of his team as well as their coach. He nodded and locked his eyes with Lance’s. 

“You should just know that I, that _we_ …” He made a gesture with his hands that included the other men surrounding him. “…are at your side. Everything that matters for us is that you guard our goal as best as possible. And I’m speaking for everyone here when I’m saying this.”

Arthur was speechless, especially when he really _looked_ at his team mates for the first time today. Lance’s words seemed to be true, they still looked at him like before, maybe a bit more worried or with a hint of pity, but all in all still like another team mate, like a _friend._ He got more reassuring words, even some hugs, and a smile from his coach. It seemed to say something like “I’m proud of you.” and Arthur felt like he could walk on clouds. He did not really understand this whole situation yet, it hadn’t fully made its way to his head, but he felt happy, like maybe everything could be alright again, and when Lance suggested getting some drinks to celebrate the victory (so they had indeed won the match; good thing) he agreed. 

 

When they got back to their hotel later that evening Arthur had started to regret crashing his phone. He felt guilty for not calling Merlin and he wanted to tell him about the glorious reaction of his fellow players, but when Lance asked if he wanted to borrow his phone, he said No. For a moment, it surprised himself, but then he understood that this was something he wanted to talk about from face to face. He wanted to look into Merlin’s eyes, to feel his lips on his own, and that as soon as possible. So he looked up the flights for tomorrow, booked a ticket for the first one in the morning that would be flying to London (actually it had been planned for the team to stay in Italy for one more day, but now he was sure that their coach wouldn’t mind) and fell asleep soon after that, exhausted not only from a Champions League match but also from an emotional rollercoaster.

 

It was early when he arrived back in London and Arthur was still tired though he had been able to get some sleep on the plane. He was still successful at ignoring all the other people, like he had done in Italy and on the plane itself, but if he hadn’t done so he might have noticed that some person’s smiles directed at him seemed to be proud.

The city’s traffic was a nightmare and when he finally made it to the building he lived in there was nothing he wanted more than to lay down with Merlin’s body next to his. But when he climbed up the stairs he realized that this wouldn’t happen too soon as he heard a voice from above. His father’s voice. Arthur froze. Then he hurried to get to his floor and really found his father there, face to face with Merlin who stood in his door. For a split second, Arthur was surprised at that sight, but when he saw the desperation on Merlin’s face, the pleading look in his eyes as soon as he saw him, the surprise disappeared. It was replaced by anger.

“Dad? What _the hell_ is going on here?”

His father finally turned around to face him, a furious expression on his face. 

“Have you lost your _fucking mind?_ I wouldn’t have thought that even you could be so _incredible stupid_ to not only _kiss_ that bloody faggot but also get _photographed_ while doing so!”

“Merlin, would you please go inside?”

It cost Arthur everything to say that, to keep his voice calm for those few words but he knew that it was necessary. He needed to get Merlin out of here before his father would be able to continue talking like that.

“Into _your flat?_ You allow someone _like that_ to…?”

Now it seemed to be impossible to keep calm. Arthur raised his voice.

“Yes, I’m allowing my _boyfriend_ to go into my fucking flat!”

“Your _what?”_

Arthur shot Merlin a look that asked, _begged_ him to go and Merlin did so, he turned around and walked into the flat. 

Arthur wanted to run after Merlin, to grab him, kiss him, to go on his knees in front of him and beg for forgiveness for what he had (or rather _hadn’t_ ) done, for not calling earlier and especially for what his father had said. But he staid, eyes fixed on his father in front of him and prepared for what was going to come.

 

“You will deny this!”

“What?”

“At your club’s next press conference you will tell the journalists how this is a misunderstanding and that you are _not_ involved in a _relationship_ …” He spat the word out. “…with _him._ ”

“No. I won’t.” Arthur shook his head and looked his father directly in the eyes. 

Uther didn’t hit Arthur. He never had, though Arthur sometimes wished he had done so. Arthur had had to learn at a young age how much deeper than physical pain words were able to hurt one. 

 

It took some more minutes, sentences that would break Arthur’s heart if he would allow his brain to think about them, before his father finally left. He turned around when he was already at the stairs and shot Arthur a look that contained nothing but disappointment. That hurt a lot more than all the anger and the rage before.

When Uther was gone, Arthur found Merlin in his bathroom. It hurt how broken he looked, and Arthur felt like he didn’t deserve it, but when Merlin wrapped him in his arms it felt like everything was going to be okay. 

 

It was two days later when Arthur’s club hosted a press conference that was supposed to be about the upcoming Premier League match. Arthur had asked for a few minutes to say some words to the journalists and the club had agreed. 

„There have been a lot of rumors about my person during the last few days. I want to make a statement about them.”

All of the journalist’s eyes were fixed on Arthur. 

“The man I was photographed with – we…”

Arthur stopped for a moment. He took a deep breath, put the cards with his prepared speech aside and continued talking. What he remembered in this moment was not what his father had wanted, he didn’t think about possible consequences. Arthur thought of how Merlin’s lips had felt on his own when he had wished him good luck this morning.

“I would have wished to choose the time to talk about this myself. But now it seems to be out, so I can as well say it. This man…”

Another deep breath.

“I love this man with all my heart and I’m so tired of hiding. So once and for all: I’m gay. I’m dating a man. Bye.”

And Arthur left the room, leaving behind a bunch of shocked, excited and questions shouting journalists. He soon bumped into his very angry looking manager Michael whose calls he had been ignoring for days.

“What the hell was that?”

Arthur stared at his manager, death serious, not answering.

“You can’t just say something like this! What do you think your father…”

Arthur interrupted him, trying his best to keep his voice calm. 

“I don’t care what my father has to say about that. And I certainly don’t care what you have to say. You’re fired.”

Michael was speechless and Arthur couldn’t care less because in that moment, he spotted Merlin who was waiting for him at the end of the floor. The smile on his face was brighter than the sun to Arthur. When he reached him, Merlin put a hand to Arthur’s cheek.

“I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you.”

And Arthur kissed Merlin, feeling how a weight he hadn’t even been aware he was carrying on his shoulders disappeared…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all had a lovely start into 2016! ♡
> 
> Comments would make my day :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur has a nightmare and Merlin is there to comfort him...

It had been nearly three months since the kissing pictures were published and finally, the public seemed to have calmed down about Arthur’s relationship with Merlin. There weren’t so many paparazzis around their building anymore and after the last Premier League match, Arthur had even been able to get through a whole interview without one question about his private life. Of course he was thankful for his club’s support, as well as for how supportive most of the fans had been, but he was still someone who preferred his _private_ life to _stay private._

Though everything had gone that well, Arthur still sometimes got nightmares about this topic. Sometimes he would be excluded from their national team in his dreams, at other times his club would end his contract. In most of the dreams his father appeared, and in all of them Merlin had left him. Arthur had once told him about the nightmares, because of course Merlin had noticed that something was wrong with Arthur’s sleep, but that one thing, the fear of losing Merlin, he kept to himself...

 

Arthur woke up from one of those nightmares at an early Sunday morning, before the sun had rose above London. He blinked at the clock at his nightstand before he decided to get up for a glass of water. Leaving the bed without waking Merlin wasn’t easy as they used to sleep tangled up with each other, but somehow Arthur still managed it. He walked to the kitchen on bare feet and had just picked a glass out of the cupboard when his right foot stepped on something pointy. 

It was the edge of one of Merlin’s textbooks from university, something about the nerve system, and Arthur cursed when the sudden pain caused him to drop the glass to the ground. If his curse hadn’t already woken Merlin up, the shattering noise surely would have, and so Arthur wasn’t surprised to find Merlin standing in the kitchen’s door. He was wearing one of Arthur’s shirts which was at least one size too big for him, his face looked tired and his dark hair was a mess. Arthur loved every single bit of it.

 

“Sorry that I woke you up, darling.”

“Mhhh. What happened?” Merlin yawned.

“I… woke up and wanted to grab a glass of water. Stepped at one of your books.”

Merlin’s eyes looked more awake now and a slightly worried expression appeared on his face.

“Did you have another nightmare?”

Arthur nodded and avoided it to look at Merlin. Instead, he grabbed a dustpan and started to clean what was left of his glass. When he was finished, Merlin held out his hand.

“Want to come back to bed?”

Arthur followed him and wrapped his arms around Merlin as soon as they had lain down. Merlin said nothing, he just pressed a soft kiss to Arthur’s forehead and started to play with his hair. He could feel his boyfriend relaxing next to him, but Arthur still looked too pale for Merlin’s liking. Suddenly, he had an idea.

 

“Would you like me to, well, to sing to you?”

Arthur looked at him, surprise in his eyes. Then, a smile started to lighten his handsome features and Merlin decided to just give it a try, so he started to sing in a low voice.

_Down in the valley, valley so low,_  
_Hang your head over, hear the wind blow_  
_Hear the wind blow, dear, hear the wind blow_  
_Hang your head over, hear the wind blow._

It was a song that Merlin’s mother had sometimes sung when he was a child and if he had been asked yesterday, he wouldn’t even have been sure if he still remembered the lyrics. But now, while he was singing to Arthur, whose head rested right above his heart, it all came back to him. And it was nice to see how Arthur’s breathing seemed to calm down even more.

_Roses love sunshine, violets love dew_  
_Angels in heaven know I love you_  
_Know I love you, dear, know I love you_  
_Angels in heaven, know I love you._

Arthur had closed his eyes and Merlin stopped singing, wondering if his boyfriend had already fallen asleep. After about a minute of silence, Arthur whispered “I love you too.” into Merlin’s chest, before both of them slept peacefully until the bright sun stood high at the sky.

 

From now on, Merlin would sing to Arthur every time he got a nightmare. That always helped, and the nightmares were getting fewer and fewer...

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Nice comments are highly appreciated :)


End file.
